Sometimes I wish I had just the right words to say. That I could tell you all exactly how I'm feeling and you would understand. I have not been blessed with that gift.
Without going into much detail, my sister in law delivered her twins at 28 weeks. For reasons we do not fully understand, one of their sons passed away, and one fights everyday for his life in the NICU.
It's times like these that the veil seems so thin and I can feel my Heavenly Father's and Savior's love for me as an individual. It's times like these that I find myself pondering what's truly important in this life. It's times like these that I wish I could see into the future and know that everything will be okay. It's times like these that I realize that everything is the Lord's Hands, and though this is so hard, that the Lord loves us and understands our pain.
I love my family so much. Each and every member. I want you all to know that. I also love the Savior. I have felt His love and felt peace from heaven everyday during these last two weeks.
This hymn has brought me much peace this week. If I could express the words to one of the ways my heart feels right now, this would be it.
Be Still, My Soul
1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
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6 comments:
Kayla--
I was just thinking today that I hadn't heard from you in a while. So, while visiting your blog (this was before you posted) I visited your brother Justin's blog and learned of their news. I am so sorry. Reading of your family's loss reminded me of some of the feelings I had when we lost our little guy. How wonderful the gospel is! Just know that I'm thinking of all of you and was glad to see that you posted today. I was just about to send you an email when I saw this.
Lots of love,
Shara
We all needed that today, Kayla. I too wish that we could know the will of the Lord concerning Crew. I do not doubt Him though, for I know that when the winds calm and the sun goes down on this life, we each will be given our just reward. And Crew's is like unto Dex's, exaltation
I am so sorry to hear about that. My heart aches for your family. They will be in our prayers. Thank you for such a sweet reminder of the overwhelming love our Father in Heaven has for us.
Hello, Grovers! Thanks for a super fun night...we needed that!!! And thanks for the yumm-o guac! You did fabulous! Have a great week!!
My heart is with you all. I think the hymn and the words are such a reminder of how much the lord loves us and WANTS to be there to help us through those troubled times. Love ya girl and all your family!!
Love you so much, Kayla. Thanks for that song today.
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